Superintendents rarely exit a school tenure without a few battle scars stemming from hostile school board relationships or incendiary comments from the community. But superintendents and community leaders must learn the tools to ease conflict, lessen tension and foster stronger relationships, Katy Anthes, the former seven-year commissioner of education in Colorado, says on this episode of “Talking Out of School.”
Now the director of FORWARD at the Public Business & Education Coalition, Anthes is working with K12 leaders to build their conflict resolution skills in one of the most divisive times in the nation’s recent memory.
“It’s not about avoiding conflict,” says Anthes, who earlier this year was named one of District Administration’s Top 100 education influencers. “It’s an important part of our democracy and running school systems because it means we’re getting different perspectives which makes us stronger in the end.”
Core tenants of Anthes’ conflict resolution rubric—deep listening, openness, intentional connection—may seem elementary to some, but the over-consumption of cable news, social media and other short-form media habits have eroded essential skills. “We’ve lost that human connection,” she says.
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To prevent “destructive conflict” with school boards, Anthes suggests identifying members you disagree with and challenging yourself to establish a connection. Ask them out for coffee—or happy hour—and discover what makes them tick outside of their job. Most importantly: try to build that rapport before any serious disagreement arises.
Anthes likens the art of conflict resolution as a discipline. “A lot of people [training for a marathon] don’t want to run that 10 miles for practice. But if you don’t [by race time], you’re going to be in big trouble.”
Despite one’s best healing efforts, equanimity may be one’s strongest ally amid the vitriol. “This work is not about getting everybody to agree,” Anthes says. “The point is how do we get people to see their humanity in each other? When you model that, it tends to be contagious.”
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