The office was empty except for Principal Thompson, hunched over the budget spreadsheet and a pile of teacher evaluation forms. Her phone buzzed: “When will you be home?” from her spouse.
She typed a hasty reply, but before she could breathe, another email popped up. It was a parent demanding immediate action after their child shared screenshots of a group text that had gotten pretty controversial and heated.
The parents were demanding a meeting first thing in the morning. Principal Thompson rubbed her temples, wishing for a moment of relief. The victories were quiet and the work felt relentless.
Every crisis landed squarely on her shoulders. The silence of the empty halls made her feel isolated. Where was the pause button?
Being at the top often means feeling alone, but there’s a way off the island. Here, we explore the root causes of leadership isolation and share four strategies school leaders can use to build support structures.
On top of that, leadership can be emotionally isolating. Every tough decision, whether it’s about staffing, discipline or resources, can create distance between you and your staff. The job is rewarding but relentless, and that isolation is something almost every school leader knows.
Isolation has real consequences. Recent surveys back this up. A 2021 NASSP study found that 42% of principals report frequent feelings of stress and isolation, and RAND data shows principals are more than twice as likely as other working adults to experience job-related stress.
The island effect isn’t just anecdotal; it’s measurable and driving leaders out of the profession. Long hours and constant decisions leave leaders exhausted and running on autopilot.
Stress doesn’t stay in the office; it affects interactions with staff, students and families. Teachers pick up on stress, morale dips and innovation drag. The “island effect” doesn’t just make leadership lonely; it can quietly erode the very outcomes school leaders work so hard to create.
So what can leaders do to move off the island?
1. Build a peer network and find a mentor
Every leader needs their people. Having a handful of peers in similar roles can be a lifeline. When I was a principal, I would text a colleague, “We need to go to Sullies,” which was our code for slipping into the empty library to vent and reset together.
But here’s the catch: it’s not enough to connect with peers once a semester at a conference or in passing. Schedule regular time to meet (not just vent), ideally once a month, to reflect, problem-solve and share ideas.
Alongside peers, make sure you also have a mentor. Find someone who’s been down this road longer, who can speak to the unique challenges and offer wisdom when things feel overwhelming. Peer networks keep you grounded; mentorship helps you see the bigger picture.
2. Share leadership through delegation
You can’t carry the whole load alone, and you’re not supposed to. Empower assistant principals, teacher leaders and department heads by giving them real decision-making power.
Delegating doesn’t mean dumping work on full plates; it’s about matching people’s strengths with what they care about. When was the last time you asked your team what they wanted to work on, instead of just assigning tasks?
When leaders share ownership, the work feels lighter, the team feels stronger, and the school moves forward together.
3. Build in debrief sessions
Leaders often race from one event to the next without pausing to learn or celebrate. Schedule debrief sessions after every major event, project or even at the end of each month.
Ask simple questions: What went well? What would we tweak next time? What can we celebrate?
These conversations don’t have to be long. Even 20 minutes can create space to learn, improve and recognize wins.
Over time, this habit helps leaders and teams feel less like they’re just surviving the grind and more like they’re growing together.
4. Protect your personal boundaries
Finally, don’t underestimate the importance of caring for yourself. The reality is that the work will never be finished, and you’ll never make everyone happy.
Accepting that truth is freeing. Protect your personal time and routines the same way you protect an important meeting.
Honor your family and your health enough to set boundaries around your work hours. A resilient leader isn’t one who never stops working. It’s one who sustains their energy for the long haul.
The island effect doesn’t have to define your experience as a school leader. With the right support—peer networks, collaboration, reflection and boundaries—leaders can move from isolation to impact without draining their well-being.
Yes, districts, boards and communities must invest in these supports, but leaders also need to take the initiative to build them. No one can thrive in leadership alone, and the good news is… you don’t have to.
